OH, what a weird time in my life, though maybe they’ve all been weird? The point is that whatever specific space it is that I need available in order to commit to trying new recipes is so so hard to come by. Even this attempt you see here is hi…
Oh, hi. I’ve been having a hard time lately, and concurrently, making life difficult for those around me. Friday night, Matt said something like, “I know Bon Appétempt has run its course, but it would be nice if you had some kind of outlet, like a …
Though I’ve been neglecting this space in favor of other pursuits, I couldn’t not post Matt’s yearly video of the kids. Spoiler: Isaac falls in love with a goat.
Hope you all are well!
Just a quick post to share these great photos Matt took from Teddy’s birthday party this past weekend. Teddy wanted a chocolate cake. I prefer a vanilla birthday cake, so I wasn’t too excited. I’d already decided I was going to make carnitas for the…
*I don’t know where I’m going.
What a year, guys! How have you coped?
For me, it’s largely been books, yoga, gymnastics, and Matt being the kind of person who is open (excited even?) to watching the kids while I do these things.
If you rea…
In Lucky Peach’s All About Eggs, there’s a photo of “Michael Anthony’s Tamagoyaki.” It looks so special: a rectangular, mid-century modern-ish spiral-layered omelet. I instantly wanted to make it.
When I actually read the recipe, I definit…
I want to tell you a quick story in screen grabs. Ready? OK.
It all started on a Friday. Out of the blue, an editor at EatingWell magazine contacted me. To protect the guilty, I’m gonna call the editor Baked Ziti. Here’s what Baked Ziti wr…
We all know the saying: If Vanity Fair isn’t coming to you. You go to Vanity Fair. Or, put another way (in case that’s not a familiar saying to you): these idyllic photos of me and my family in Big Sur are what I imagine our fictional Vanity Fair spr…
I was wrong about chutney just like I was wrong about Dean. (And when I’m wrong, I say I’m wrong.) A year or so ago, I thought chutney was just another way of saying mango salsa. And just a month ago, I thought Dean was a really good-looking, semi-br…
[This is the fifth conversation in a series. For the others, click here.]
You may remember my next guest, Tannaz Sassooni, from my ghormeh sabzi post many years back. It was during that epic, old-school attempt that I first learned about Tannaz…
Choose Your Own Metaphor!
Hi, guys. How’s your summer going? After three and a half years of making a go of it as a freelancer who also raises children, I’ve decided to dip my toe in the ice cold waters of looking for a more traditional job with …
Welllllll, all good things must come to an end, right? This mung-bean-centric video marks our last episode of the mom.me ‘In the Kitchen with Amelia and Teddy’ series. Like most endings, it’s bittersweet. It was a good gig for a freelancing mother of…
[This is the fourth conversation in a series. For the others, click here.]
In Voracious: A Hungry Reader Cooks Her Way through Great Books, Cara Nicoletti guides us through her reading life. Each chapter discusses a different book she read at a…
Apart from Matt and the kids, my reading life is what saves me over and over again. I picked up The English Patient from our bookshelves a few weeks ago, initially pulled in 100% by the cover of Ralph Fiennes making out with Kristin Scott Thomas. It…
[This is the third conversation in a series. For the other two, click here.]
When I worked at Heath Ceramics, Jeanne Kelley would come in fairly often to rent out dinnerware for photo shoots for what would eventually become her third cookbook, Salad…
So many things I’d like to recount and not enough quiet time to recount them, especially right now since Teddy’s on “spring break” and my mom and brother are in town visiting. But here I go anyway…
1. Thank you for your responses/comments on t…
[This is the second in a series of conversations. The first one is here.]
If you’re familiar with Tim Mazurek and his site, Lottie + Doof, you likely read “You’re Boring,” a subversive think piece on why food media mostly sucks and how we …
Plus, a video of Teddy and me making her Rosinenzopf.
After the election, my friend Kara introduced me to the following words by the ancient Chinese philosopher Lao-tzu: “If there is to be peace in the world, there must be peace in the nations. If th…
I barely read the news anymore. Not that I ever really did. If I’m being truly honest, I bet you I read 567 headlines (probably via Twitter) and maybe four or five long-form political articles in their entirety in the year leading up to the 2016 ele…
Matt and I were stressing about how to get ourselves plus Teddy and Isaac to the L.A. women’s march in downtown Los Angeles. Should we risk the metro crowds and potential wait times with two small children and all of their gear? What about the bus? In…
Well, it’s early January, which in my house equals birthday season. If you remember, Isaac was born just a handful of days before Teddy’s birthday. Not only does this make for perfect-sized hand-me-downs, it’s also worked quite nicely for Matt’s annu…
We’re packing up to spend a few days in Palm Springs with my mom, step-dad, and uncle. And while Teddy is at pre-school and Isaac at daycare (He started a few weeks ago, three times a week. More on that later maybe.), I wanted to pack up a few things I didn’t want the kids to get into. I started with the stuff I’m going to need for the grief ritual I’m planning on leading.
If you follow this blog with any regularity, talking about grief rituals is clearly where I was headed, right? If you follow this blog, or read my book, you may also remember that I lost my grandma and my dad within weeks of each other in November of 2013. This November, we lost my Aunt Martha. At first I was planning the grief ritual solely for Martha, since I couldn’t make it to her memorial service. But then I realized that I wasn’t able to make it to my grandma’s memorial service either. My dad’s death kind of lives in my mind with my grandma’s, so naturally he got pulled into it too.
I’ve never participated in a non-funeral grief ritual before let alone led one. I’m a WASP from a long line of WASPs. We don’t excel at talking about our feelings. We don’t excel at showing our feelings. We are stoic strivers! So, obviously, I am following the guidelines of a grief ritual as explained to me by Francis Weller in his book, say it with me now: The Wild Edge of Sorrow.
I think part of the reason I’m telling you all of this is to keep me to my word. I’m afraid to lead a grief ritual! I’m afraid to be vulnerable in front of my family!
The ritual itself is very simple. It involves a shrine, a bowl of water, and some stones. Weller uses the word “shrine” in passing, therefore, leaving it open to interpretation. I’ve decided some photos will work. I went through my wedding album and pulled ones of my grandma, my dad, and Martha. I’m also bringing David Whyte’s book of poetry, Everything is Waiting for You, in case I want to read a poem. I’m going to play it by ear. In short: Look out, Palm Springs. Here we come!
I think the other reason I’m telling you all of this is because I want to remind myself to: Arrive curious, without the armor / of certainty. Those lines are from a poem by Rebecca del Rio called “Prescription for the Disillusioned.” Ever since the election (and, sure, since well before then), I think I’ve been afraid to let go of my anger. If I let go of my anger, how will people (read: my mom) know that I’m not accepting the things I don’t accept, like the misogyny and hate that the results of this election represent to me? But then, as I was packing these things up, I came across these lines from T.W.E.O.S.: “Letting go is not a passive state of acceptance but a recognition of the brevity of all things. This realization invites us to love fully now, in this moment, when what we love is here.” This is one of those things that is easier said than done. But I will try. (I will also forgive myself if I fail!)
And now it’s time to go pick up Isaac from daycare.
All our love and grief and everything in between,
Amelia, Matt, Isaac, and Teddy
p.s. Happy holidays! Here’s a video of me and Teddy making oysters.
p.p.s. Here are a couple of links to combat hopelessness!
1. “It’s Easier Than We Think: Ralph Nader on How We Can Change Society“
2. This song, on repeat, really loud, while dancing: “Rough Going (I Won’t Let Up)
3. This song, preferably while driving, maybe on a highway.
Holiday Oysters (with a Lemon-Parsley-Shallot Butter)
serves 2-4, depending on how much you love oysters
18 oysters
kosher salt or rock salt
4 tablespoons of unsalted butter, room temperature
¼ cup well-chopped parsley
1 shallot, minced
1 lemon, both the zest and juice
pinch of salt
Get a large, broiler-safe (not glass or ceramic!) pan and fill the bottom with a layer of the kosher salt or rock salt. (If you don’t have a big enough pan to fit all 18 oysters, you can do them in batches, which is what I did.)
Mix together the butter, parsley, shallot, lemon zest, and pinch of salt. Set aside.
Shuck the oysters, removing the top shell and leaving them in their bottom shell along with their liquor and then place them in the pan atop the salt, one by one, as you go.
Preheat the broiler.
Place a nice dab (about a half teaspoon or a bit more) of the butter mixture on top of each oyster. Broil about 3-4 minutes. Serve on the half shell with lemon wedges.
