Absolute Best Tests – FoodWatcher

The Absolute Best Way to Make Mayonnaise

In Absolute Best Tests, Ella Quittner destroys the sanctity of her home kitchen in the name of the truth. She’s boiled dozens of eggs, mashed a concerning number of potatoes, and seared more Porterhouse steaks than she cares to recall. Today, she tackl…

In Absolute Best Tests, Ella Quittner destroys the sanctity of her home kitchen in the name of the truth. She's boiled dozens of eggs, mashed a concerning number of potatoes, and seared more Porterhouse steaks than she cares to recall. Today, she tackles the oft-polarizing spread, mayonnaise.

There are many divisive discussions to initiate in the condiment aisle, but none is as incendiary as the merits of mayonnaise. To some, its silky, gelatinous texture is the stuff of nightmares (I’ll never forget the girl I knew who would hold her nose and make an “ick” face whenever I added it to my sandwiches).

The Absolute Best Way to Make Crispy Potato Chips

Nobody knows who fried the world’s first potato chip.

The Absolute Best Way to Make Sugar Cookies

Most sugar cookies are just fine. Good, but not great.

The Absolute Best Way to Cook Butternut Squash

In October of 2022, Michigan-based farmer Derek Ruthrouff claimed the Guiness World Record for the heaviest butternut squash. Ruthrouff presented a hulking specimen that weighed in at just above one hundred and four pounds. Three weeks later, I consumed roughly the same volume of butternut squash. I did not win an award for it.

The Absolute Best Way to Make S’mores

I used to think there was no such thing as a bad s’more.

The Absolute Best Way to Grill Vegetables

If I’m not manning the grill, I am standing right next to it, completely transfixed. (Just try to show me your vacation pics, I dare you.) Cooking over an open fire has always fascinated me, perhaps because I grew up with a father who quit organized religion to worship his Big Green Egg, or perhaps because a properly charred bite of pork belly is a universally transcendental experience. And unlike a neighbor with a story to tell me about his achilles tendon, the grill never ceases to run out of ways to surprise me at a cookout.

The Absolute Best Way to Marinate Chicken

I used to think that marinades were pointless. Or, more accurately, I wasn’t really sure what they did for flavor—blame the honey mustard craze of my youth. I wasn’t sure how or why I might employ one to lock in moisture when I could simply dry brine. So more often than not, I skipped them.

The Absolute Best Way to Make Cheeseburgers

At 1500 West Colorado Boulevard in Pasadena, California—an otherwise unassuming corner—if you look down at your feet, you might be surprised to find a plaque that reads as follows:

The Absolute Best Way to Make an Egg Sandwich

In Absolute Best Tests, Ella Quittner destroys the sanctity of her home kitchen in the name of the truth. She’s seared more Porterhouse steaks than she cares to recall, tasted enough stuffing for 10 Thanksgivings, and mashed so many potatoes she may ne…

In Absolute Best Tests, Ella Quittner destroys the sanctity of her home kitchen in the name of the truth. She's seared more Porterhouse steaks than she cares to recall, tasted enough stuffing for 10 Thanksgivings, and mashed so many potatoes she may never mash one again. Today, she tackles the egg sandwich.

The breakfast sandwich has been around for far longer than you or your hangover.

The Absolute Best Way to Bread Chicken

Most chicken cutlets one encounters in the wild are pretty good. The average one wears an armor of crunch that’s seasoned heartily enough to play smokescreen for any dryness inside. Usually doused in a sauce, or pressed between two halves of an Italian roll, or blanketed by melted American cheese, breaded chicken is the form of cooked poultry Most Likely To Be Fine, whatever the circumstance.