We’re packing up to spend a few days in Palm Springs with my mom, step-dad, and uncle. And while Teddy is at pre-school and Isaac at daycare (He started a few weeks ago, three times a week. More on that later maybe.), I wanted to pack up a few things I didn’t want the kids to get into. I started with the stuff I’m going to need for the grief ritual I’m planning on leading.
If you follow this blog with any regularity, talking about grief rituals is clearly where I was headed, right? If you follow this blog, or read my book, you may also remember that I lost my grandma and my dad within weeks of each other in November of 2013. This November, we lost my Aunt Martha. At first I was planning the grief ritual solely for Martha, since I couldn’t make it to her memorial service. But then I realized that I wasn’t able to make it to my grandma’s memorial service either. My dad’s death kind of lives in my mind with my grandma’s, so naturally he got pulled into it too.
I’ve never participated in a non-funeral grief ritual before let alone led one. I’m a WASP from a long line of WASPs. We don’t excel at talking about our feelings. We don’t excel at showing our feelings. We are stoic strivers! So, obviously, I am following the guidelines of a grief ritual as explained to me by Francis Weller in his book, say it with me now: The Wild Edge of Sorrow.
I think part of the reason I’m telling you all of this is to keep me to my word. I’m afraid to lead a grief ritual! I’m afraid to be vulnerable in front of my family!
The ritual itself is very simple. It involves a shrine, a bowl of water, and some stones. Weller uses the word “shrine” in passing, therefore, leaving it open to interpretation. I’ve decided some photos will work. I went through my wedding album and pulled ones of my grandma, my dad, and Martha. I’m also bringing David Whyte’s book of poetry, Everything is Waiting for You, in case I want to read a poem. I’m going to play it by ear. In short: Look out, Palm Springs. Here we come!
I think the other reason I’m telling you all of this is because I want to remind myself to: Arrive curious, without the armor / of certainty. Those lines are from a poem by Rebecca del Rio called “Prescription for the Disillusioned.” Ever since the election (and, sure, since well before then), I think I’ve been afraid to let go of my anger. If I let go of my anger, how will people (read: my mom) know that I’m not accepting the things I don’t accept, like the misogyny and hate that the results of this election represent to me? But then, as I was packing these things up, I came across these lines from T.W.E.O.S.: “Letting go is not a passive state of acceptance but a recognition of the brevity of all things. This realization invites us to love fully now, in this moment, when what we love is here.” This is one of those things that is easier said than done. But I will try. (I will also forgive myself if I fail!)
And now it’s time to go pick up Isaac from daycare.
All our love and grief and everything in between,
Amelia, Matt, Isaac, and Teddy
Holiday Oysters (with a Lemon-Parsley-Shallot Butter)
serves 2-4, depending on how much you love oysters
18 oysters
kosher salt or rock salt
4 tablespoons of unsalted butter, room temperature
¼ cup well-chopped parsley
1 shallot, minced
1 lemon, both the zest and juice
pinch of salt
Get a large, broiler-safe (not glass or ceramic!) pan and fill the bottom with a layer of the kosher salt or rock salt. (If you don’t have a big enough pan to fit all 18 oysters, you can do them in batches, which is what I did.)
Mix together the butter, parsley, shallot, lemon zest, and pinch of salt. Set aside.
Shuck the oysters, removing the top shell and leaving them in their bottom shell along with their liquor and then place them in the pan atop the salt, one by one, as you go.
Preheat the broiler.
Place a nice dab (about a half teaspoon or a bit more) of the butter mixture on top of each oyster. Broil about 3-4 minutes. Serve on the half shell with lemon wedges.
We're packing up to spend a few days in Palm Springs with my mom, step-dad, and uncle. And while Teddy is at pre-school and Isaac at daycare (He started a few weeks ago, three times a week. More on that later maybe.), I wanted to pack up a few things I didn't want the kids to get into. I started with the stuff I'm going to need for the grief ritual I'm planning on leading.
If you follow this blog with any regularity, talking about grief rituals is clearly where I was headed, right? If you follow this blog, or read my book, you may also remember that I lost my grandma and my dad within weeks of each other in November of 2013. This November, we lost my Aunt Martha. At first I was planning the grief ritual solely for Martha, since I couldn't make it to her memorial service. But then I realized that I wasn't able to make it to my grandma's memorial service either. My dad's death kind of lives in my mind with my grandma's, so naturally he got pulled into it too.
I've never participated in a non-funeral grief ritual before let alone led one. I'm a WASP from a long line of WASPs. We don't excel at talking about our feelings. We don't excel at showing our feelings. We are stoic strivers! So, obviously, I am following the guidelines of a grief ritual as explained to me by Francis Weller in his book, say it with me now: The Wild Edge of Sorrow.
I think part of the reason I'm telling you all of this is to keep me to my word. I'm afraid to lead a grief ritual! I'm afraid to be vulnerable in front of my family!
The ritual itself is very simple. It involves a shrine, a bowl of water, and some stones. Weller uses the word "shrine" in passing, therefore, leaving it open to interpretation. I've decided some photos will work. I went through my wedding album and pulled ones of my grandma, my dad, and Martha. I'm also bringing David Whyte's book of poetry, Everything is Waiting for You, in case I want to read a poem. I’m going to play it by ear. In short: Look out, Palm Springs. Here we come!
I think the other reason I'm telling you all of this is because I want to remind myself to: Arrive curious, without the armor / of certainty. Those lines are from a poem by Rebecca del Rio called "Prescription for the Disillusioned." Ever since the election (and, sure, since well before then), I think I've been afraid to let go of my anger. If I let go of my anger, how will people (read: my mom) know that I'm not accepting the things I don’t accept, like the misogyny and hate that the results of this election represent to me? But then, as I was packing these things up, I came across these lines from T.W.E.O.S.: "Letting go is not a passive state of acceptance but a recognition of the brevity of all things. This realization invites us to love fully now, in this moment, when what we love is here." This is one of those things that is easier said than done. But I will try. (I will also forgive myself if I fail!)
And now it's time to go pick up Isaac from daycare.
All our love and grief and everything in between,
Amelia, Matt, Isaac, and Teddy
Holiday Oysters (with a Lemon-Parsley-Shallot Butter)
serves 2-4, depending on how much you love oysters
18 oysters
kosher salt or rock salt
4 tablespoons of unsalted butter, room temperature
¼ cup well-chopped parsley
1 shallot, minced
1 lemon, both the zest and juice
pinch of salt
Get a large, broiler-safe (not glass or ceramic!) pan and fill the bottom with a layer of the kosher salt or rock salt. (If you don’t have a big enough pan to fit all 18 oysters, you can do them in batches, which is what I did.)
Mix together the butter, parsley, shallot, lemon zest, and pinch of salt. Set aside.
Shuck the oysters, removing the top shell and leaving them in their bottom shell along with their liquor and then place them in the pan atop the salt, one by one, as you go.
Preheat the broiler.
Place a nice dab (about a half teaspoon or a bit more) of the butter mixture on top of each oyster. Broil about 3-4 minutes. Serve on the half shell with lemon wedges.
What – no new Thanksgiving recipes? With work, soccer, swimming, scouts, work, and more work – my 6 year old has not asked for Chick-fil-A for two months and can pretty much use DoorDash all by herself at this point 🙂 But I got off easy this year – we have been instructed to show […]
What – no new Thanksgiving recipes? With work, soccer, swimming, scouts, work, and more work – my 6 year old has not asked for Chick-fil-A for two months and can pretty much use DoorDash all by herself at this point
But I got off easy this year – we have been instructed to show up to a northeast Houston suburb on Thanksgiving Day with Roasted Chesnut & Sausage Dressing, the Broccoli & Rice Casserole (but not the fancy version – the traditional one with it’s scandalously instant, white rice and brick of Velveeta), and booze.
But we do still eat. And I do still cook. And to back this up, I present to you Exhibit B:
Exhibit A, if you’re wondering, is a cheesy drip down the front of my shirt. Some things, they never change.
We took a trip to Disney World for our 10th anniversary – with kid in-tow, because that’s how we party now – and had a pot roast-topped mac & cheese that was pretty magical for a trio of starving people who were hoarding meal plan credits to blow later in the day the Epcot Food & Wine Festival.
It’s as easy as it looks, barely-a-recipe recipe.
1. Whip up your favorite stove top macaroni and cheese recipe – this is mine, although for this photo we tried out the Copycat Panera recipe to save you the trouble. If you haven’t tried it already… you can probably take a pass on it. Having eaten it at Panera two days before, it was light on the Copycat.
2. Toss shredded chicken with bbq sauce. I dropped frozen chicken breasts into the Instant Pot for 8 minutes and then delegated auto-shred duties to the mixer – I seriously do not know how the Pilgrims did it.
The fresh green chiles have been available for a couple of weeks but now it’s time to get serious. The roasters have been set up outside my grocery store, ready to scorch case after case of hatch chiles. They are easy enough to roast at home… but they’re also easy enough to buy a bag […]
The fresh green chiles have been available for a couple of weeks but now it’s time to get serious. The roasters have been set up outside my grocery store, ready to scorch case after case of hatch chiles.
They are easy enough to roast at home… but they’re also easy enough to buy a bag of fresh-roasted-by-someone-else chiles and take them home to chop and freeze.
Chopped hatch chiles are mixed into softened butter with salt, pepper, and a squeeze of lime juice. The smokey chiles and tangy lime juice in the compound butter bake up wonderfully over salmon or tilapia. And when you consider that it takes 20 minutes to put dinner on the table and clean-up involves balling up a sheet of foil, I dare you not to make it twice a week.
Baked Salmon with Hatch Chile Compound Butter
Baked salmon topped with hatch chile and lime compound butter
Ingredients
4 salmon filets
Cooking oil/spray
For the hatch chile butter (makes enough for two recipes)
1 stick (8 Tbsp) unsalted butter, softened
4 hatch chile peppers, roasted, seeded and chopped
Juice from 1-2 lime wedges
Salt
Pepper
Instructions
Preheat the oven to 400 and line a baking pan with foil.
Lightly oil or spray the foil.
In a bowl, combine the softened butter, chopped hatch chile peppers, squeeze of lime juice, a pinch of salt, and a few grinds of black pepper.
Top each salmon filet with ~1 Tbsp of the butter mixture.
Spoon the remaining butter mixture onto a piece of plastic wrap, lightly roll up, and then pick up the ends of the plastic wrap and spin to seal - this will form a "butter cylinder." It's the second best kind of cylinder
The butter will keep in the fridge for a couple of weeks, easily.
Bake the salmon for 10-12 minutes until the salmon is just still translucent in the very center of the thickest part of the fillet.
While the fish is cooking, microwave some steam-in-bag veggies and open a bottle of wine.
If you need another excuse to cook dinner on the patio and work in a little more grilled summer fruit into your diet, you’ve come to the right place. I am the enabler’s enabler. One of my very favorite things right now are grilled peaches, plums, and apricots. They work perfectly with a scoop of […]
If you need another excuse to cook dinner on the patio and work in a little more grilled summer fruit into your diet, you’ve come to the right place.
I am the enabler’s enabler.
One of my very favorite things right now are grilled peaches, plums, and apricots. They work perfectly with a scoop of ice cream on top and work just as beautifully in savory dishes.
Another current favorite thing is stuffing my face while standing in my PJs at the fig tree in the backyard… but that’s a confession for another day.
Chicken thighs and ripe apricots (or white peaches – those turned out amazing!) are threaded onto skewers and grilled to smokey perfection before being glazed with an herbed honey glaze. The glaze gets the tiniest of kicks from the red pepper. It’s not spicy but without the red pepper, I thought the glaze fell a little flat the first time we made it.
Happy summer grillin’!
Honey & Thyme-Glazed Chicken and Apricot Skewers
Chicken and apricot skewers grilled with a sweet and spicy honey-thyme glaze.
Gotcha-what? I know, I know. STAY WITH ME HERE. This sweet & spicy & tangy 10-minute dinner is totally worth it. So totally worth it. If you’ve made the Spicy Honey-Glazed Salmon before, you know exactly what I’m talking about. Gochujang is a paste made from spicy red peppers (and a few other things) and […]
Gotcha-what? I know, I know. STAY WITH ME HERE. This sweet & spicy & tangy 10-minute dinner is totally worth it.
Gochujang is a paste made from spicy red peppers (and a few other things) and has the same consistency as tomato paste. So, kind of like tomato paste… if tomato paste was made out of 1-part fire.
I couldn’t find it locally so I picked up this tube on Amazon.
And by “couldn’t find it,” I mean I ran down the International Aisle and kinda looked in the general area while my hand was burning-cold, holding a half-gallon of Blue Bell.
Priorities.
Like the Spicy Honey-Glazed Salmon, sweet + heat is good… but it can be better. The glaze really benefits from the added acid of (there) cider vinegar. Here, I added the juice of half a lime to balance out the heat and honey. The glaze still has a kick, but not one that forces you to guzzle milk from the jug standing in front of an open fridge.
The real beauty of either of these salmon recipes is that not only are they insanely delicious, but they’re also insanely easy and double-insanely FAST. 7 minutes under the broiler and your entree is done. While the salmon was cooking, I tossed a steam-in-bag Asian veggie medley into the microwave and fired up a non-stick pan to heat some potstickers.
And it’s really hard to beat crumble-up-foil-and-throw-it-away as your clean up instructions.
Gochujang and Honey-Glazed Salmon
A quick & easy broiled salmon with a sweet, spicy, and tangy glaze made with gochujang, honey, and lime.
Those who know me, know that I’m a sucker for a few things: A “new” trendy diet I mean, most of them aren’t new by any stretch… so maybe let’s call them repackaged diets. But as long as it’s trendy and getting press, I’m gonna juice whatever refuse I can find on my back patio […]
Those who know me, know that I’m a sucker for a few things:
A “new” trendy diet
I mean, most of them aren’t new by any stretch… so maybe let’s call them repackaged diets. But as long as it’s trendy and getting press, I’m gonna juice whatever refuse I can find on my back patio for the sake of checking some dumb box. I mean, whether it’s eating only orange foods (Ranch is okay as long as it’s stuck to a carrot, right?), shunning meat (just kidding – I’d never), “eating” things only if they can be sucked through a straw, or eating only things that were available before the creation of spoken language… I’ll give anything a try once. Just for the heck of it.
Scarves
I live in Katy, Texas, where the “need” for scarves is maybe 10 out of 365 days in a “cold” year. I have more than 10 scarves.
Modern technology (aka BUY ALL OF THE GADGETS!!)
And that’s where these sandwiches come in. My friend Brandi bought an Instant Pot – it’s an electric pressure cooker that does a bunch of other things, too. The very next day, I showed up on her doorstep with a 4lb pork roast, a Dr Pepper, a bottle of Gatlin’s barbecue sauce, and a package of Hawaiian rolls.
We seared the roast right in the pot (a dream of mine!), set it to Pressure for 90 minutes, and by the time we had made a dent in the cheese plate and a couple of bottles of wine, it was dinner time. Dinner that tasted like it had cooked for 8-10 hours. I was sold. Sooooo sold. Like, ordered-one-for-myself-sitting-right-there-on-her-couch-eating-a-pulled-pork-slider, sold.
And now that my shiny new pressure cooker is here, I decided to give it an inaugural spin on one of my (and your) all-time favorite slow cooker recipes: French Dip Sandwiches.
In the slow cooker, we’re talking 6 hours minimum. In the Instant Pot? 10 minutes of prep, 40 minutes of cooking at pressure, 15-20 minutes of resting, and another 10-15 minutes to shred the meat and build sandwiches.
Pressure Cooker French Dip Sandwiches au Jus
Pressure-cooked French Dip Sandwiches au Jus - the same slow-cooker tenderness in a fraction of the time.
Ingredients
4 lb boneless chuck roast
Salt
Pepper
1 Tbsp oil
1/2 medium yellow onion, sliced
3/4 cup beef or chicken stock (chicken is usually all I ever have in the freezer)
2 Tbsp coconut aminos or soy sauce
1 tsp fish sauce (optional, but I'm obsessed)
2 Tbsp water
1 Tbsp Worcestershire sauce
1 Tbsp creole (or other spicy brown) mustard
2 cloves garlic, smashed
8 sandwich rolls, split
8 slices of cheese
Instructions
Cut the roast in half and liberally salt and pepper the top and bottom sides.
Set the pot to Saute and heat 1 Tbsp oil.
Sear 1 piece of roast at a time, ~3 minutes on each side. Move to a plate when done.
Add the sliced onions and the garlic and cook until softened.
Turn the pot off.
Add the two halves of the roast on top of the onions.
Stir together the stock, soy sauce, fish sauce, water, Worcestershire sauce, and creole mustard.
Pour over the roast, lock the lid in place, and set the vent to Seal (not Vent).
Set the pot to High Pressure for 45 minutes.
After the pot beeps to let you know the cooking cycle is done, it will take another 15-20 minutes to "naturally" release the pressure (the cylinder next to the vent will drop, indicating that it is done).
Shred the meat and build the sandwiches.
Strain the liquid and discard as much of the fat as possible (I have a "gravy defatter" that works pretty well - leftovers are even easier because the fat will solidify on the top and you can just scoop it off the next day).
Serve a small bowl of the drippings on the side of your sandwiches.
First broccoli of the season! #oldladygardengram A photo posted by Shawnda (@shawndah) on Apr 9, 2016 at 7:55am PDT Howdy! It’s your 6th-favorite slacker blogger checking in with her vegetable garden details. And a super sweet announcement: my momma got her new kidney this week! She and my little sister (the donor) are both back […]
It’s your 6th-favorite slacker blogger checking in with her vegetable garden details. And a super sweet announcement: my momma got her new kidney this week! She and my little sister (the donor) are both back home already and doing great.
What’s also doing great? The broccoli and brussels sprouts.
I have two 4×8 garden boxes going again this year. They look like this:
Box 1
6 broccoli
6 brussels sprouts
1 square of came-back-from-last-year green onions
3 San Marzano tomatoes
3 Julie tomatoes
Box 2
1 Jalapeno
1 Red bell pepper
1 Green bell pepper
2 slicing tomatoes
2 San Marzano
2 Juliet tomatoes
Out and around the backyard:
Young citrus trees:
– Lime
– Key lime – back from the brink of death but didn’t blossom this season. I still have my fingers crossed.
– Meyer lemon – This guy is still in recovery, it actually blossomed but I didn’t let it fruit.
– Tangerine
– Ruby grapefruit
– Blood orange – big, bush, and zero blossoms this season.
– Satsuma Orange
– Pink lemon – Almost completed recovery, it blossomed but I didn’t let it fruit.
Peach (white peach, yellow peach)
Celeste Fig – it is going to be a HUGE year for figs
Not listed for the first time in 5 years: Pomegranate. RIP, man.
Quick. Easy. Not horrible for you. Quick. Did I mention it was quick? My favorite “recipe” for orange chicken is one that someone else makes and shows up at my door step in 35-45 minutes with a minimum $15 order. A minimum that I almost always double because the guy on the other end of […]
Quick. Easy. Not horrible for you. Quick.
Did I mention it was quick?
My favorite “recipe” for orange chicken is one that someone else makes and shows up at my door step in 35-45 minutes with a minimum $15 order. A minimum that I almost always double because the guy on the other end of the call has eggrolls and a wonton soup that make a killer lunch the next day. That orange chicken is spicier and more savory than the usual orange chicken. (A feat I know is achieved by adding a bunch of red pepper and extra fat to the usual orange chicken.) (Sooooo worth it.)
My second favorite recipe is not the at-home “so much better than take out” version that involves breading and frying, a million ingredients to make the sauce, and ending with a kitchen that looks like a just spent the day cooking Thanksgiving dinner. And let’s not forget about the bonus morning-after-frying smell that is now permanently embedded in every strand of your hair.
My second favorite recipe is a quickly whipped-up, stripped-down version created out of desperation. It requires a handful of ingredients, leftover chicken, and… that’s it. In minutes, you have a sauce with a bright citrusy punch and a light kick that marries perfectly with chicken and rice.
Semi-pro tip: There are three things you’ll always find in my fridge or freezer: a repurposed wonton soup container of lime juice, frozen rice, and already-cooked chicken breast for “emergencies.” (These days, that seems to basically be every weeknight.) Maybe I’m totally on my game (ha) and planned ahead (all of the LOLs) by cooking a large package of bone-in chicken breasts in the crockpot… or maybe I’ve just hit up Costco and splurged on the package of rotisserie chicken breast.
Skinny Orange Chicken
A healthier alternative to take-out with a fresh, bright sauce that packs a citrusy punch.
1/2 tsp of fish sauce (optional, I add it if I have it)
2 garlic cloves, minced
Pinch of red pepper flakes
Black pepper
2 Tbsp ketchup (I use a reduced sugar version)
1 Tbsp soy sauce or coconut aminos
1 tsp cornstarch or arrowroot powder
Sliced green onions, for topping.
Instructions
Use a vegetable peeler to remove the zest in long strips from 1 orange. Slice the strips into thin slices.
If you don't have an emergency bag of rice in the freezer, cook 1 cup rice (to yield 2 cups) according to package directions.
In a medium sauce pan, heat the sesame oil, garlic cloves, red pepper flakes (two pinches of you aren't sharing with any Littles), and black pepper over medium heat until it begins to sizzle.
Add the orange zest, 1 cup orange juice, the ketchup, fish sauce, and the soy sauce/coconut aminos. Stir until uniform, increase the heat, and bring to a boil for 2-3 minutes.
In a small cup, mix the cornstarch/arrowroot powder with 1 tsp water.
Stream into the sauce while whisking.
Turn off the heat and add the chicken, tossing to coat.
Serve over cooked rice with a sprinkling of green onions, next to something green.
Year of the Monkey? Nope. 2016 is absolutely shaping up to be the Year of the Brussels Sprout. (Although there was definitely a time when I thought eating a monkey sounded far more appetizing than eating Brussels Sprouts.) (Because seriously. Mushy, boiled Brussels Sprouts? [shudder]) But then something amazing happened. People stopped boiling them to […]
Year of the Monkey? Nope.
2016 is absolutely shaping up to be the Year of the Brussels Sprout. (Although there was definitely a time when I thought eating a monkey sounded far more appetizing than eating Brussels Sprouts.)
But then something amazing happened. People stopped boiling them to mush.
Our friends served them at NYE dinner – halved, simply roasted and seasoned under very high heat, rendering them super-caramelized and tender. And then a neighborhood friend brought them shredded-and-roasted-and-glazed to a get-together and since then, I’ve spent the last two months making up for lost time.
The house-favorite way is to make them like Friend #2: shredded, roasted long enough to get lots of little crispy shredded pieces, and then tossed in a sweet-sour-spicy glaze. (Although “the bacon way” comes in a very close second.)
A couple of weeks ago, I made this recipe four times on a Sunday – four pans full – and by Thursday afternoon, I was adding brussels sprouts to my shopping list again.
Sriracha Honey Lime-Glazed Brussels Sprouts
Crispy-roasted brussels sprouts glazed with a sweet-sour-spicy mixture of honey, lime, and sriracha.
Ingredients
1 Tbsp olive oil
12 oz bag shredded brussels sprouts*
Black pepper
1 Tbsp soy sauce or coconut aminos
1 Tbsp sriracha
Juice of 1/2 lime
1 Tbsp honey
You can also use whole sprouts, cut in half. Be sure to cook them cut side-down to make the magic happen.
Instructions
Preheat oven to 375 and line a baking pan with foil.
Place the brussels sprouts in a large zipper bag with olive oil and pepper - seal (no seriously - triple check that it is sealed) and shake to coat.
Spread the brussels sprouts in a single layer and roast for 20 minutes, toss, and cook another 5 minutes if you want them darker.
In a medium bowl, whisk together the soy, honey, lime, and sriracha. If you keep most of those ingredients in the fridge, a 10-second trip through the microwave will make mixing easier.
Transfer the brussels sprouts to the bowl and toss to coat with the glaze.
